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Crossing the Line – When “Being Nice” Becomes Creepy!

When trying to establish new friendships or relationships with other people, it’s often very easy to misunderstand the “signals” you are receiving, so you could literally end up in hot water!

So let’s take it slowly from the beginning here šŸ™‚

You see someone you fancy, so you make contact.

Now assuming you haven’t been a sleeze, and as most people are usually reasonably “polite”, they are likely to return your greeting and engage in some sort of conversation with you for starters.

So far so good! This is what it’s all about eh?

Making contact.

Seeing what common ground there is between you both. Working out what level of “interest” there might be from the other party.

Working out whether there’s something more there for you both to pursue… or not.

But this is where you can come unstuck, by MISinterpreting how things actually go.

Now Listen Up Boofhead!

Just because they talked nicely to you and had a lovely chat – or whatever – does NOT necessarily mean they want to be your life partner!!!

Nor does it mean they want you to try to “score” with them!

It could simply mean that they enjoyed the company and just wanted a chat!

Or maybe they were just being polite and didn’t want to create a scene at the time by telling you to rack off – probably a common occurence at your local pub during Sunday afternoon drinks when some of the boys consume far too much alcohol to build up enough dutch courage to chat with the chicks!

As a big favour to you and the other people involved, please assume that is all it meant at this initial stage šŸ™‚

If things progress further beyond “friendship” at a later time… then well and good. But don’t jump the gun if you are looking at developing any sort of serious relationship.

Let’s talk about that too… so you

Don’t Cross The Line!

And now we’re talking about stalking and the unwanted approaches that can land you in trouble with the Law!

Cos it doesn’t take much to move from being “friendly” to becoming a bloody nuisance and being labelled a “stalker”.

And if you somehow think that your actions can’t be regarded as “stalking” then consider this definition…
“Virtually any unwanted contact between two people that directly or indirectly communicates a threat or places the victim in fear can be considered stalking.”

And in many legal jurisdictions in Australia, they do not require the actual victim to have felt fear or distress as a result of this behaviour, only that a “reasonable” person would have felt this way.

So Here’s a List of Things You Should Avoid

  • Just because he/she gave you his/her phone number does NOT give you the right to send a relentless stream of text messages claiming your unrequited love for them!
  • Just because you “friend” them on FaceBook does not mean you can constantly post on their wall, or send private messages all the time!
  • Just because they accepted your contact on a dating site does not mean they want to hear your smutty stories, or see your naked pics!
  • Just because you know they have young kids does not give you any right to start buying presents or lollies etc for those children to get you into the “good books”.
  • Just because you know where they live or work gives you absolutely NO RIGHT to sit outside their house/work at all different hours of the day… or “drop in” for a visit unexpectedly.
  • And just because they might be “single” does NOT necessarily mean they are they are “available” or even interested in a relationship (especially with the likes of desperadoes like you)! They could be quite content with their life just the way it is, and certainly don’t need the added dramas and complications your unwanted affections are causing!

The inability of the unrequited lover to express and fulfill emotional needs may lead to feelings such as depression, low self-esteem, anxiety and rapid mood swings between depression and euphoria… unrequited love has naturally been a frequent subject in popular culture. Unfortunately; movies, books and songs often portray the would-be lover’s persistence as paying off when the rejector comes to his or her senses.
Wikipedia

It’s pretty obvious that we are dealing with some pretty powerful emotions here, and, unlike the movies, in real life the ourcome is rarely perfect!

So if you are doing this sort of crap…

Then when you get told to rack off, you better take control of yourself bigtime!!!

And that means to STOP what you are doing! Immediately. Don’t keep doing it… or slow down a little… STOP IT! šŸ™‚

Please realise that since your advances are NOT wanted, you are laying a lovely trail of evidence that can land you in a swagful of trouble!

Depending on what sort of job you have, this could even affect your ability to continue in that job – thinking about jobs that require Police Checks etc here, or ANY job which involves contact with the public!

So don’t cross that line when interacting with other people!

It’s seriously NOT worth the hassle.

Resources:

Here’s a great collection of Australian Anti-Stalking and Bullying information.

Read more about Types of Stalkers here.

Any there other examples of unwelcome behaviour you’ve experienced that you’d like to share here?

Then add your comment below – just don’t mention names/places, and watchya language šŸ™‚ Thanks!

What do YOU think?